ARE YOU SERIOUS? [gray/blue/open]

[F I R E *]

>> I was running in circles;;

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xx.iiiI HURT MYSELF JUST TO FIND MY PURPOSE
TAKE MY HAND, LET'S GO -- SOMEWHERE WE CAN REST OUR SOULSsss.xx

[/color]

How long could one stare at something one can't have?

Acceptance.

His paws were tucked underneath him as he stared, transfixed, at two apprentices, sharing tongues. They were all friendly toward each other. They were willing to talk each other about anything. At least, if they didn't know he was there.

He wouldn't tell anyone how much those words hurt. The words that Longtail said, no matter how oft he made it out that he did not care about the taunts that he uttered through his maw, always hit him whenever he thought of them. The young ginger tom used to be a kittypet, and he knew that the other cats could not just accept a non-warrior amongst their ranks. However, he just wished they would understand his position. Not only were they totally prejudicial about his upbringings, but they were also ignorant of his position. They would only listen to themselves, even though he had a lot to say.

Tigerclaw.

Not even Bluestar would listen to him about him. He knew that some day, Tigerclaw would betray the Clan in some way. But for some reason Bluestar was ignoring him. And Firepaw felt hurt, knowing that Ravenpaw was feeling blue because of Tigerclaw. He did not want to see one of his good friends suffer like that, under the tyranny of a cat that Firepaw used to admire. Ever since Ravenpaw had charged in, exclaiming that Redtail was dead, things had been spinning out of control for Firepaw. He could just feel the dark tabby's amber eyes locked on him whenever he was trying to muster up the courage to convince Bluestar. He could just hear the musty growl coming from that throat, hissing into his ear, "You're next."

And nobody would listen, except for him.

He felt a great shadow loom over him the minute that he heard of the suffering his black-furred friend had endured. He did not wish to deal with this, to have these feelings of being trapped in a fate that he did not want to endure; he just wanted to join ThunderClan. But now he knew it was his responsibility to prove that things were not all merry anymore in the beautiful forest that he was now inhabiting. It was his job to protect his Clan from the rebellion that was rising within.

This huge task resting on his shoulders, and Firepaw could not help but feel queasy. It did not help that no one would actually, you know, listen to him. They did not ease the responsibility from his shoulders, nor did they even try. They were all very happy to spit insults at him. He knew in this mission of his, he was going completely solo. And it was that thought that made him feel trapped -- made him feel scared.

But that's not something to worry about right at that moment.

The flame-colored tom tried to clear his head of these awful thoughts. All he had to focus on right at the moment was to be loyal to his Clan. He had a training session he had to undertake with Bluestar today, and Graypaw was coming along. His paws tingled with excitement as he imagined himself, catching his own mouse without the help of another cat in the Clan. It was also fantastic that Graypaw was coming along -- Graypaw always knew how to lighten up the mood and cheer him up.

However much he let excitement overcome his mind, however, he could not shake the awful forboding that was making him tremble...

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xx.eeeEVERYTHING WAS SO WORTHLESS; I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS
I'M SCATTERED THROUGH THIS LIFE; IF THIS IS LIFE I SAY GOODBYEeee.xx

>> But to me you were perfect[/b][/font][/size][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ᴥBLACKEE]

whatever choice ravenpaw had, it seemed like they were too significant at the moment for him to make an ultimate final decision. should he run or hide? or both? or stay, until he were somehow disposed of? it was so unexpected! that fight... the battle over sunningrocks, who'd have known that both the deputies of both clans would fall to their death? no... it wasn't so much randomized as it was... his amber eyes flickered across the clearing. oakheart, the riverclan deputy had fallen to his death, and he had learned that afterwards. After redtail had died, because when he… w-witnessed it, a dark cloud rolled over the apprentices gaze, as he looked back on the malevolent memory. His thoughts sufficed to continue. ravenpaw avoided meeting the gazes of any of his clanmates in those short seconds where his eyes wandered in prompt glances. what else would he do? he needed answers... answers... that nobody would be able to give him, at least, not exactly what he wanted, and he needed salvation. from his perch at the freshkill pile, he noticed firepaw (who wouldn't?).

the orange tabby tom was obviously new to thunderclan, but then... he was also a kittypet. bluestar apparently found him, and due to the diminishing amount of warriors in the clan, had offered him a place among them. she saw something in him, his inner voice commented. he’d never fully introduced himself to the newcomer – and his friend, not when spottedleaf shooed them away while treating his shoulder wound, shortly after tigerc-claw had stepped over to observe… he found an opening just then to do so formally. his pawsteps were hasty, and his tail was kept low to the ground, practically grazing it; his tip twitched once. Ravenpaws eyes commenced to illustrate the vacant glow, but his voice, somewhat warm and welcoming, showed otherwise. the black and white tom dipped his head timorously, and his moonstones flashed towards the entrance for a heartbeat.

“so you’re firepaw, eh?” his voice was low, but secure and teasing. firepaw didn’t look like a brute, and if anything, he would only be afraid himself. being in a new clan, ravenpaw was surprised to find that the only thing he could tell about firepaw’s posture and expression, was the anxiety plastered here and there over his brilliant maw. he hoped it wasn’t anything he knew of, perhaps, he wouldn’t want to know… he grinned shyly – proceeding to the fact that he and firepaw were already acquainted and considerably good friends now, “where’s graypaw?”

[{grayy !]

* don't let emotion stop you

He was going to make sure that Lionheart saw that even though he was friends with the ex-kittypet, he was still going to be the strongest warrior in the forest. Graypaw's long gray fur was puffed out to give him a bit more heat in the slightly cool air, his keen amber eyes keeping carefully to the path ahead. He'd been told to track his mentor from the camp and he believed that he'd done quite well, even if his tracking skills weren't the best around. Following Lionheart had been hard, but he'd got to sunning rocks without loosing his mentor's trail and now he was heading back to camp before his training session with Firepaw and Bluestar. He couldn't help but puff out his chest with slight pride, knowing he was going to be training with the clan leader. Of course, he was the apprentice of the deputy but the leader herself.

Bounding into the camp with his tail held up proudly, he scanned the camp, his gray ears pricked up and alert. It wasn't long before he spotted Firepaw at the edge of the clearing. Taking a step forward, he paused for a moment, taking another look around. He was going to be spending most of the day with his ginger friend, maybe he should go chat with Ravenpaw? That was, if Tigerclaw hadn't swept the black apprentice out of camp. Graypaw couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend, being the apprentice of the biggest bully in the camp and he knew that the black apprentice was terrified of the warrior. Even though he trusted Ravenpaw to tell the truth, everything with Redtail didn't seem right to him, but more than likely it was the truth, after all, who didn't trust that Tigerclaw of all cats would do something like that.

The apprentice was saved the trouble of searching for Ravenpaw when he spotted the black tom go over to Firepaw. They hadn't met properly yet, he realized and this brought a grin to his features. Giving his pelt a hard shake, he padded over to join the two toms. “where’s graypaw?” Coming up behind Ravenpaw, he tapped his tail lightly against the black tom's shoulder with a loud purr. "'M right here Ravenpaw." he mewed brightly before blinking warmly at Firepaw. "Hey Firepaw, you look like a bee just stung you, what's up?" Sitting down next to Ravenpaw, the gray apprentice quickly drew his tongue lightly over his chest a few times.

character: graypaw. start song: reckless youth, pillar. end song: let me take you there, plain white t's.
words: 414. notes: sorry guys. i passed out in the middle of my loungeroom after i'd started this.

[F I R E *]

>> I was running in circles;;

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xx.iiiI HURT MYSELF JUST TO FIND MY PURPOSE
TAKE MY HAND, LET'S GO -- SOMEWHERE WE CAN REST OUR SOULSsss.xx

[/color]

(( Is all right, I understand. ))

The flame-colored tom was out of tune with the rest of the world around him. Tigerclaw was now haunting his mind, a lasting silhouette, and yet he felt excited at the same time. He couldn't even imagine the dazed expression that was on his face at the time.

So, when he heard a voice right next to him, albeit friendly, he nearly jumped.

"So you're Firepaw, eh?"

[/color]

Formal introduction?

But did Ravenpaw even have to ask? After all, Firepaw single-handedly showed everyone how plucky a kittypet could be -- and allowed room for teasing of himself for moons to come. How he was starting to wish he had never gotten so brave as to venture into the forest. Let's humiliate the kittypet, see how he feels! The ginger tom upturned his gaze to Ravenpaw, his green eyes focusing on the black cat. He knew that the other apprentice could be awfully skittish, so it was rather nice to see him a little cheery.

"The one and only."

The one and only. He said that so dismissively, and yet, within saying that, he felt so out of place. He knew he was an ex-kittypet. He knew that all the cats around him were Clanborn except for himself. And he knew that his loyalty to the Clan would always be questioned. He felt overwhelmed just with that knowledge alone, let alone the fact that he would have to expose Tigerclaw and fix the Clan from within single-pawedly.

"Where's Graypaw?"[/color]

Of course, the topic had to switch to his best friend. Firepaw opened his mouth, feeling excited jitters at just hearing his friend's name, when he nearly leaped a cat-length into the air when he heard a voice behind Ravenpaw.

"'M right here, Ravenpaw."[/color]

As the air filled with Graypaw's loud purring, Firepaw couldn't help but relax. He didn't even realize that his muscles were so tense from the stress and turmoil that was rolling around his mind. His green orbs focused on his best friend. It was funny, how he had just been feeling out of place, and suddenly with the gray cat's presence he felt included in a group. Firepaw couldn't help but wonder if Graypaw realized that he had that effect on him. He probably didn't, knowing the small gray cat.

He saw the gray cat blink warmly at him, and he returned the friendliness with a warm gaze of his own directed at his best friend. Graypaw's perpetual friendly expression really eased Firepaw, and he felt a bit chipper. For a moment he even forgot about Tigerclaw. "Hey Firepaw, you look like a bee just stung you. What's up?"[/color]

"Nothing." And he meant it. And he felt happy that he meant it.[/size][/color][/center]

xx.eeeEVERYTHING WAS SO WORTHLESS; I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS
I'M SCATTERED THROUGH THIS LIFE; IF THIS IS LIFE I SAY GOODBYEeee.xx

>> But to me you were perfect[/b][/font][/size][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Frosteh]

Frostpaw stepped outside of the warrior's den and stretched, minding the pile of old moss at his paws. Raking up bedding always tended to make him feel claustrophobic so he decided to get some fresh air before finishing the small portion of work that he had left to do. Looking across the clearing he spotted a small gathering of cats, a patrol perhaps? No, with a closer look he saw that there wasn't one warrior in the group, it was just Firepaw, Graypaw, and Ravenpaw. Where there was a group he wanted to be, and so making sure the moss was safe, he began prancing across the camp.

'Besides,' he thought, 'he could use the stretch, this job was making his muscles tighten up and it was uncomforatble.'

He closed the gap between them with only a few strides, and slowed his pace as he neared the group. Falling into place between Graypaw and Ravenpaw he greeted the group. Frostpaw scanned their expressions with his eyes, Ravenpaw looked as if deep in thought, but that was no suprise these days, ever since the Redtail incident he was not the same. Graypaw was Graypaw, standing tall and proud he was the spectacle of the group and must have done something great because he was in a very good mood. At last Frostpaw's eyes fell upon Firepaw, the kittypet. Without mentioning it he noted the look on Firepaw's face, there was only one word he could muster to describe such a look, dread, but why would Firepaw be so fearful? He was new to the clan but it's not like everyone had greencough and he was in danger of catching the disease. Whatever the cause, he thought it was best left alone, and so he turned to Graypaw.

"You look like you just conquered all of Shadowclan with a swipe of your paw, just get back from training with Lionheart?"

[{grayy !]

* don't let emotion stop you

"Nothing." Looking at Ravenpaw for a moment, he turned his gaze down to Firepaw, before snorting, shaking his head slightly. This apprentice confused him at times, he could just change moods and expressions so fast it gave him whiplash. Rolling his shoulders lightly with a loud yawn, he lay down where he was with a loud thump. Prodding Firepaw's cheek with his nose, he looked up to Ravenpaw, just as Frostpaw came over, the tom's presence adding onto their already large group. "You look like you just conquered all of Shadowclan with a swipe of your paw, just get back from training with Lionheart?" Lifting his head up proudly, the gray top wrapped his tail modestly around his side.

"That wouldn't be hard," he snorted, giving a crooked grin, showing his teeth. "I could take down all those flea-ridden furballs with my eyes covered!" Giving his chest a few licks, he ruffled his own fur slightly. "Though it wasn't really a training session, Lionheart had me track him to sunning rocks. I didn't loose him once and he barely knew I was there!" The apprentice's bright amber eyes glimmered with pride, his chest puffed out. He knew he was a bit too proud about how his training was going, but really, who wouldn't with a mentor like his! Looking at Firepaw for a few moments, he looked down at his paws, deciding they needed cleaning. Swiping his tongue over them a few times, he pressed his shoulder lightly against Firepaw's.

"Hey, you looking forward to our training session?" he asked brightly, eyes gleaming with excitment. He's been waiting for this ever since Firepaw told him. It was great! He'd get to show off in front of Bluestar and not only that, but he could also give Firepaw a hand, so he didn't look like a dope in front of his mentor.

character: graypaw. start song: dumb mistakes, faker. end song: a new sky, the presets.
words: 309. notes: YOU'RE MEAN FIRE!.

[ᴥBLACKEE]

paw steps sounded behind him, and in an instant, ravenpaw was acutely aware that the newcomer to their forming group was graypaw, by the large paws and long tufts of gloomy fur. who would have guessed? graypaw greeted them informally, and his voice was cool; somewhat at ease when he spoke, too as if the air had gotten a little bit lighter. 'm right here ravenpaw. the black and white apprentice had only just missed the warm blink towards their ginger friend; but then there was a sigh that escaped past his lips, but in all its entirety, it was just a breath, one that seemed inaudible to anyone else's ears. he hadn't heard the rest of what they said in those short moments; the sleek black apprentice dazed off into his own endless contemplation. And every now and then, his eyes would flicker here and there to make sure that tigerclaw remained out of sight and out of camp, for now. if he was there at all, he was in the warriors den catching up on some sleep, no doubt. nobody knows, do they? his thoughts lurked through the past, and the somewhat recent memories that were also found there...

and they didn't notice, either. he hoped they didn't, anyway. his denmates apparently had a training session awaiting, firepaw and graypaw did, and guessing from graypaw, having just returned from one with lionheart, it was bluestar taking firepaw. graypaw was tagging along. "oh." he mumbled, his amber moonstones glancing down off to the corner of the ground behind firepaw. "when are you two going?" he added, his voice low and vacant. it was as if he’d whispered. he wondered idly if they had any idea of tigerclaws scheme, for what he committed his crime for, ravenpaw had no idea, but he had a feeling that the big tabby warrior was planning something. something bad, too. nevertheless, he figured if firepaw and graypaw had any idea of the truth, of what really happened, they would be batting eyelashes. i hope not, anyway, who could be so happy when death would come at every corner? it’s the calm before the storm, right? this storm will be bad. His brow narrowed, and his ears fell backwards just slightly. “yea…” this entire conversation proved useless. "have fun."

[Frosteh]

Frostpaw settled on his haunches in his spot at the circle of apprentices, no use in wasting energy by standing the whole time. He looked down at his large white paws for a moment, and then looked up at Ravenpaw as he asked, "When are you two going?" Something wasn't right though, he seemed spaced out and lost in the corridors of his own mind.

Since his question was barely louder than a whisper, Frostpaw decided to reinforce its deliverance. "Yeah when are you guys going? You don't seem to be in much of a rush." Since Firepaw hasn't spoken in a while, he directed the question more in his direction.

While awaiting an answer, Frostpaw thought back to the unfinished task behind him. Hopefully they leave soon so he can get back to work without getting in trouble. He didn't mind getting in trouble though, as long as there was no huge punishment he would survive, it was merely the additional work that he was liable to recieve after being caught slacking off on his duties. He was sure he could risk a couple more minutes with his friends before going back.

[F I R E *]

>> I was running in circles;;

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xx.iiiI HURT MYSELF JUST TO FIND MY PURPOSE
TAKE MY HAND, LET'S GO -- SOMEWHERE WE CAN REST OUR SOULSsss.xx

[/color]

(( Gosh you guys, I wait for your turn and you take freaking forever. Not only that but then Cedar doesn't even wait for me. XD YOU'RE HORRIBLE. ))

"You look like you just conquered all of ShadowClan with a swipe of your paw. Just get back from training with Lionheart?"

[/color] The meow that made Firepaw's ears twitch this time was a confident meow, and the flame-colored tom realized right then, even though he had joined the group a few heartbeats prior, of the white tom's presence. He turned his green gaze to the other apprentice, and for some reason he felt like he was being searched because of this other apprentice. Firepaw didn't even remember his name; all he knew was that he was another ThunderClan-borne apprentice, and he would have no understanding of the turmoil that was going on within Firepaw's mind.

He could hardly think about that, though. The ginger tom's mind was buzzing with excitement because of the training he would do with Graypaw and Bluestar. He couldn't help but feel happy that he would get the opportunity to spend time with his best friend and train to become a better warrior. For some reason, knowing that Graypaw was there also made him a bit happier about it than usual. His mind was off tallying how long it would be until the leader would grace them with her presence, and they would be heading off to train together. He knew, with Graypaw's large pride, that he would be thinking of trying to teach him the ropes along with Bluestar. Firepaw laughed inwardly at the thought.

But for some reason, something didn't feel right. It wasn't with Graypaw; it was with Ravenpaw. A sudden distant look clouded over the black apprentice's eyes, and his orbs darted around warily, like as if he was looking out for something. Firepaw felt the grim shadow looming over him once again, and shuddered. An uncertain breeze blew through the air as he was reminded of Ravenpaw's predicament -- and of his own. Were they both just crazy? Ravenpaw seemed very wary of Tigerclaw, and Firepaw was, as well. But was Tigerclaw really evil on the inside? If Firepaw was wrong, then he didn't know where he would go from this point. If Ravenpaw had been lying, then Firepaw was going insane.

The very thought of breaking within scared him. He just wanted to be a warrior -- he didn't want to go psychologically disabled because of something as small as this. Was Firepaw hallucinating, imagining that things were as harsh as he thought they were? He knew something wrong was going to happen. Dreams he had were strange, and none of the other cats had them, with the exception of Spottedleaf. And yet, he was unsure of whether or not something was going to happen, even though he knew. Subconsciously he could see the whole of their future, and yet his thinking mind would not accept that. For some reason he was doubting himself. It made him feel down.

His personal reflection made him nearly miss Graypaw's words.

"That wouldn't be hard," he growled, grinning. Firepaw was trying to fix his mind on the conversation at hand -- oh yeah, it was about ShadowClan. He had completely forgotten. "I could track down all those flea-ridden furballs with my eyes covered!"[/color]

'You couldn't track a mouse if it leaped on your nose,'[/color] thought Firepaw, but not because he really doubted Graypaw's ability, but because somehow the way Graypaw seemed to talk so spitefully about another Clan seemed to bother him. He flipped his ears backward for a second, suddenly feeling nervous. He forced himself to relax as he listened on.

"Though it wasn't really a training session. Lionheart had me track him to Sunningrocks. I didn't lose him once and he barely knew I was there!"[/color] Graypaw puffed out his chest boastfully, his amber eyes gleaming, and Firepaw for some reason felt a giggle in his throat. He just felt Graypaw was so silly acting like that. He was very certain that Lionheart was only pretending that he didn't know Graypaw was there. After all, Graypaw was hardly older than him. And for some reason, he felt that Graypaw looked--

Wait, what?

Firepaw instantly shook the thought away from his head before he could even figure out what the next word was. The young apprentice felt confused. With the stress he had already been feeling, the sudden addition of... wariness around Graypaw now, not understanding his own reaction to him, frightened him. It was at this time Firepaw almost jumped thirty tail-lengths into the air because Graypaw nudged him on the shoulder.

"Hey, you looking forward to our training session?" Firepaw could see the excitement gleaming in Graypaw's eyes. A few moments ago, the ginger tom would have shared it. But somehow, uncertainty was forming at the pit of his stomach, and he wasn't able to share the gray apprentice's excitement. It was true he felt a little excitement of his own, but it was overwhelmed by a drowning sense of some emotion.

A drowning sense of fear.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, trying to force his excitement forward and his worry back in his mind, Firepaw managed a shaky nod and a worried smile. "Yeah, I'm excited," he replied, trying to pump himself up. It wasn't working that well; even Graypaw's presence and happiness wasn't helping him now -- especially since now, his uncertainty was somewhat directed toward the gray apprentice.

A chorus came from the other two cats of the group, but Firepaw could not focus that well on the question, regardless of how many times it was repeated.

"When are you two going?" Was Tigerclaw around? Firepaw's green gaze darted around in a frightened way, much like Ravenpaw's gaze was earlier. He couldn't focus on Ravenpaw's unfocused words -- mostly because he was uncertain himself.

"Yeah, when are you guys going? You don't seem to be in much of a rush," came Frostpaw's meow, seeming to emphasize Ravenpaw's earlier point. But the repetition didn't gather Firepaw's focus any more, and he edgily sat up, his green gaze focused not on them but on some point beyond them, like as if he was trying to see an invisible foe. For some reason, he felt like he shouldn't be there at that moment in time.

The base of his tail bristled, and absent-mindedly he answered, "When Bluestar gets here." Bluestar was always late on the uptaking, he reflected. She was late on everything. She would not listen to him. But who would? He was just a mere kittypet. "I don't know when that is." He knew that particular statement was useless, and yet he couldn't help but say it.

Ravenpaw's words shouldn't have seemed so ominous. But they were.

"Yeah... Have fun."

Have fun...

Did Ravenpaw see something happening that Firepaw didn't see?

The ginger tom shivered, and it wasn't from the breeze.

(( OH GOD THIS POST IS SO HORRIBLE.

AND FIREPAW IS HAVING MOOD SWINGS. ))[/size][/color][/center]

xx.eeeEVERYTHING WAS SO WORTHLESS; I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS
I'M SCATTERED THROUGH THIS LIFE; IF THIS IS LIFE I SAY GOODBYEeee.xx

>> But to me you were perfect[/b][/font][/size][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[{grayy !]

* don't let emotion stop you

Well this was a bundle of laughs, he'd rather go sniff out a badger at the moment. ravenpaw had gone silent into his own world, clearly worrying about Tigerclaw again, Firepaw was suddenly looking worried... again and Frostpaw was slacking off on work. So much fun this all was. The gloomy, almost terrifying sense of doom that was lingering in the air was starting to make him feel depressed too. "Yeah, I'm excited." Barely. Graypaw thought sourly, shaking his head lightly with a sigh. Any cat coming over might have thought that someone had died, that was the general mood, either that or the whole "we're all going to die" feel and look on everyone's faces.

"When are you two going?" Graypaw looked up atRavenpaw, giving a small shrug and smile at his friend, before looking at Frostpaw, who seemed to be the only person other than he who was in a half-decent emotional state. "Yeah, when are you guys going? You don't seem to be in much of a rush," Graypaw gave a grin, his amber eyes glinting for a moment before Firepaw's now rather depressed voice answered. "When Bluestar gets here. I don't know when that is." Rolling his eyes, the gray apprentice nudged Firepaw in the side, frowning slightly. "Yeah... Have fun." Oh geex, this converation really seemed like something you'd hear at a funeral!

He couldn't take it anymore, suddenly leaping to his paws. "Geez guys! If I didn't know better I'd think someone died here!" he meowed loudly, a frown across his face. Giving his head a firece shake, he padded over to Firepaw and tugged at his flask with his teeth, trying to get the apprentice to his paws. "C'mon, lets go find Bluestar, before you start beliving someone did die," he said lightly, before looking at frostpaw. "Frostpaw, do you need help with anything, in case we can't find Bluestar?" Turning to Ravenpaw, seeming to be taking charge of all the depressed apprentices, he gave a small shake of his head. "Why don't you try and help us find Bluestar?" Jumping up and down on the spot for a moment, he tried to inject them with some energy.

"Brighten up, both of you, seriously!"

character: graypaw. start song: rose, birds of tokyo. end song: hey hey disbeliever, the living end.
words: 370. notes: ha, i went to post before you said anything fire. ;P