good news week

[{grayy !]

OMG IT'S THE FIRST THREAD NOT STARTED BY FIRE!

But anyways, I watch this show called Good News Week, some of you may have heard of it, but for some reason, I ended up writing down quotes from an episode of the show. So meh, you can read them. it's better if you actually watch the episode though.

Paul McDermott - Mikey Robins - Jo Stanly - Tom Gleeson - Claire Hooper - Rhys Muldoon - Dave Thorton

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Paul: In Switzerland a daredevil who calls himself fusion man, has soared over the Alps at 275km p/h using a homemade, jet propelled hand glider. He’s just trying to impress some bird.
Mikey: You are devoid of shame.
Paul: Just trying to impress some bird, he’s just trying to impress some bird.
Rhys: You know I thought you were going to say governor at the end of that!
Paul: Rossi claims he’s getting ever closer to bird flight. Yes, the flight of the Jet Sparrow! A very rare bird that’s made of fibreglass, eat Caro, can carry a human and shits flames.
Mikey: That’s not a real bird. The Jet...
Rhys: Oh Mikey, that’s not a real sentence.
Mikey: No, no, the jet sparrow it’s not a real bird.
Tom: You worried there are birdwatchers at home going oh... where is it? -Rummages through notebook mimicking birdwatcher-
Mikey: -mimicking someone calling- Oh, hello channel ten, I’d like put up a report that’s not a real bird you know.
Tom: I haven’t ticked that one off yet. –throws notepad down-
Paul: What sort of bird watcher would be at home watching television? What sort of birdwatcher worth their salt. And not in some sad hutch. -stares’ blankly looking like is watching something intently-
Mikey: You know what, I hate Birdwatchers. -sticks up middle fingers at the camera-
Paul: Now that’s a bird!
Claire: My dad calls his farts Jet Sparrows.
Mikey: is he always releasing them back into the wild?

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Dave: That’s from playschool!
Rhys: Did I draw that? That was obviously supposed to be a caterpillar and I don’t know...

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Rhys: Well one of the most... what would you call it... well documented UFO cases, is probably this one they’re talking about, which was over a military installation, so it was all military generals and people like that that went ‘that’s a freaking’ UFO’.
Mikey: I like the realisation with the generals going ‘That’s a UFO, I’ve always loved you Gary’.
Rhys: I also love the idea of the generals, like there are three of them and two are going ‘did you see that?’ and the other is going ‘nope’.

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Dave: Or Jet Sparrows.
Paul: It’s a great animation isn’t it? That would be... What a hero, Jet Sparrow. Faster than the other... sparrows.
Mikey: Who lives in a secret cave in Claire’s father’s ass. ‘Mr Hooper, there’s been a crime committed’ It’s a job for Jet Sparrow! -Gets up and bends over- Go Jetty!
Claire: You know what’s great? My dad’s on holidays so he won’t be seeing this.
Rhys: No he won’t be seeing this.
Claire: It’s so great.

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Claire: You know I saw an alien abduction documentary recently and I was so frightened and I didn’t even mean to watch it and then it came on and five minute in a couldn’t even reach forward to get the remote because I was so scared.
Rhys: What because it had like, buttons, ‘nd stuff?
Claire: Yes! And, well exactly, the upshot is that I spent a week being so scared to get up and go to the loo in the middle of the night that I got a urinary tract infection! And that’s how afraid I am...
Jo: Do you think the aliens are coming up the toilet after you?
Claire: No! But apparently just before you get abducted you see a blue light and there’s a streetlight just outside our bathroom.
Mikey: You, You’re a freaking’ hillbilly!
Jo: Yeah... Yeah Redge is right they would take you because they only ever take hillbillies!
Paul: Can we stop!?
Dave: I think that’s why your dad must fluctuate so much just in case he gets probed. Y’know, ‘I don’t want to look like an idiot if they turn up! I’m cleanin’ out back there’.
Rhys: They’re looking in there, looking in his ass, ‘what can you see?’ ‘I don’t know a bunch of Jet Sparrows there’s...’
Paul: Let’s just forget the Jet Sparrows! Let’s forget the UTI’s and the UFO’s and let’s just focus on the four and a half hours of comedy ahead of us! But the most exciting revelations...
Rhys: Paul, Paul, Paul!
Paul: Oh!
Rhys: Sorry! Sorry. Jet Sparrow.
Paul: Oh... Hell.